So, my husband is probably cursing my name during his entire ride in to work this morning and I feel terrible about it. I took the car yesterday evening and didn't put gas in it and.... it's on E. I completely forgot to tell him until this morning when he was walking out the door.... late. I also kinda took the weekend off this weekend a.k.a. I did as little mommy/wifey-work as possible. So he had no breakfast burrito this morning to eat on the way because I didn't make them. Why? Because they take a good 3 hours to cook everything, assemble them, and wrap them up to freeze.
I have these days from time to time. You know, the kind where it feels like nothing you do is right. I suppose I should've came home and grabbed his debit card, loaded up the baby back into the car, and gone to get gas... My intention was to go put gas in the car when the baby went to bed. And I obviously forgot.
I'm extremely forgetful and it sucks. It has gotten so much worse since our daughter was born too. I get so irritated because I lose the dumbest things! It's even worse when other people are involved. Most of the time it's my husband.
So enough of the pity-party. Since he left for work this morning hating my guts I have to step it up today to make it up to him. Overall, I think I'm a darn good wife though. I don't know many women who wake up every morning and make their husband's breakfast and lunch for the day. In fact, not too long ago I was involved in a post on Facebook where women were actually talking about how their husbands should make the coffee for them before they left for work so that they could sleep in and it would be ready when they got up. I couldn't believe it! Reading their comments I was thinking to myself "I can't imagine the look on my husband's face if I asked him to make me a pot of coffee so I didn't have to get out of bed..." Come on, ladies.
I hate that this morning happened the way it did and I know it's going to put my hubby in a terrible mood at work and it's all my fault. I seriously hate that. But what's done is done and I just need to not let it happen again.... like.. ever.
xoxo,
Guilty in Los Angeles
Monday, June 24, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
Society vs Popcorn
One of the things that kept me sane through pregnancy, newbornhood, the whole first year was reading. When I was pregnant, I loved reading about what was going on with this little being growing inside of me.. It helped me know "What to Expect." Reading about breastfeeding definitely helped and also about baby's sleep habits once she made her appearance. It just calmed my nerves to know... call it a control thing? I don't know.
Reading had it's ups and it's downs. I remember numerous times my mom would say to me "STOP READING SO MUCH!!" and when she was a newborn I was venting to her and my mom said "She's not by the book. Listen to HER!" And it's true. While reading helped me in so many ways it did not always prove to be 100% on course. It was all so new to me and, sure, it would've been so nice to have flipped to a page to find out why my child was crying, that's just not how it works.
It helped me to expect that around 8-9 months, my daughter would start to experience separation anxiety at night... and that was so true. It helped me to understand that around 4 or 5 months, she may go through "nursing strikes" and she did. That from birth she would go through an insane amount of growth spurts within those first 3 months and what to expect during those.
What reading also did to me was make me somewhat paranoid about things. Don't do this or baby might do this. Don't feed your baby this or they might do THIS! Your baby's bed is to be nothing but a slab of rock or else they might die of comfort! Don't let your newborn cry or else she'll grow up thinking no one in this world loves her and that's how the Charles Manson's are born!
DD is now 15 months old and what I have had to realize is that I'm the parent. I know my daughter better than the back of my hand.. I know her like the muscles and tissues and nerves and bones inside the back of my hand.
I may have put a little extra padding inside her bassinet (not much, but just a little), and put a folded blanket under her crib sheet for a little cushion when I moved her to her crib. We used crib bumpers. When she got old enough to turn over both sides I put little stuffed animals and lovey's in her crib as well as a baby blanket. I let her cry. I feed her hot dogs. And popcorn.
I get the possibility of what COULD go wrong. However, I know my child. I don't just give her a whole hot dog and bowl of popcorn and leave the room. But, she is human and let's face it... those things are staples in America and if I can't give her a hot dog and some popcorn then I am denying her the freedom on which this country was build *cue patriotic anthem* My four fathers once said..... wait... four fathers or forefathers? Hmmm.....
Anyways, I sometimes have to remind myself that it's okay to let her enjoy the good things in life. In moderation. And with supervision. She knows that she has to drink lots of water while eating her popcorn. One good sip every couple bites in case one of the little hulls gets stuck in her throat.
I constantly have to block out some of the stuff society says about what to do with your kids. It will drive you slap crazy if you let it!
Educate yourselves, but know your kids :)
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
At War with Toddlerhood
Wow it has been forever since I have posted. I really want to make it a habit to write once a week since I do really enjoy it. Want to know the reason why I have been terrible at blogging so far? The computer screen makes me SLEEPY! I already have to sit down to edit the pictures from my photography sessions and after about an hour of doing that, my eyes need a rest. I honestly don't know how I got through some of those 20-hour days working at the newspaper in Georgia all those years. It's just cray-cray! (I am not allowed to say that in real life because the hubby hates it but I can here because IT'S MY BLOG!!! lol)
So, my daughter is just a few days shy of being 15 months old and it is almost like toddlerhood has slapped me right in the face... hard. Now, she has never been an easy child from day 1, so her fussiness, mood swings, clingyness, and tantrums are nothing new to me. The only thing that has changed has been the way I am, for lack of a better word, "allowed" to handle it. I only say that because obviously you are going to handle things differently depending on what age your child is. At her age we use time-out and little pops on the hand. I am not opposed to spankings. However, at this age I don't feel they are really necessary when I get my point across in other ways. Plus, we give her "love spanks" all the time so for her to tell a difference in those and an actual spanking we would have to pop her very hard and I can't bring myself to do that just yet.
I will tell you this. Friends.... if time-out or whatever other anti-spanking disciplinary tool you use with your child ain't workin.... please, please, please change it!! Perhaps your child needs something stronger. Uuuuuugh I cannot staaaaand people who don't discipline their kids!! If at any point you feel like your kid is running YOU, then you're not doing your job as a parent.
Don't get me wrong, I am a sucker at times when I am just over H's little attitude and I just give in to whatever the heck she is flipping out about. Most of the time it's when we are in public or when I am trying to get something done. But at H's age, I believe she is trying to just find her place in this family and so teaching her to know who is boss and that the world doesn't revolve solely around her is priority. As parents, we have a small window of opportunity to teach this and if it isn't successful then what we are stuck with is a child-centered life. Sure your child is the center of your entire world and existence in your heart, but isn't teaching them to respect and the right and wrong ways to handle things much more important? I like what I read in "Becoming BabyWise" when he said that becoming our child's friend is the reward we will get in the end.
There are a handful of bad habits I am trying to break my daughter from right now. A few months ago she started slapping at something if she did not want it (i.e. her juice cup being offered to her, a toy being given to her, etc.) Now she has started saying "No." when she doesn't want something. I am trying to get her to say "No, THANK YOU." Because she can say "Thank you" ("Dee-doo!") and she knows what it means. Another is patience. Oh, Lord, this one is a pain in my rear. There is simply no easy way to teach a kid patience, but I just say it over and over to H and hope that she will eventually get the hang of it. We all have to do it and we don't like it all the time, but it is something we have to have. If I'm sick of sitting in traffic for two hours, I'm not allowed to just get up and walk around the car, so I have to wait and so does she! lol. That sounds so stupid, but it's the truth.
Another that has just recently been made crystal clear to me is that the ability to take my daughter out to a restaurant has become pretty much obsolete. Now that she can walk she wants her freedom 100% and unfortunately when you're in a public setting where people are sitting around you enjoying themselves it is tough to just say "No. You have to be PATIENT!" and let them fuss and squirm and pitch a tantrum. So most of the time we give in to get her to stop. That is a toughie because other people are involved.
What has been made clear to me is that it doesn't matter how wonderful and amazing and smart your kid is they all go through these stages. The only difference is the way we, the parents, handle it. And unfortunately that is what shapes our children as they grow from being toddlers to preteens.... scary, huh?
Coffee cup is now empty and I hear my little angel-muffin awake in her room! Time to tackle another day, friends! Let's do it!
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
So, my daughter is just a few days shy of being 15 months old and it is almost like toddlerhood has slapped me right in the face... hard. Now, she has never been an easy child from day 1, so her fussiness, mood swings, clingyness, and tantrums are nothing new to me. The only thing that has changed has been the way I am, for lack of a better word, "allowed" to handle it. I only say that because obviously you are going to handle things differently depending on what age your child is. At her age we use time-out and little pops on the hand. I am not opposed to spankings. However, at this age I don't feel they are really necessary when I get my point across in other ways. Plus, we give her "love spanks" all the time so for her to tell a difference in those and an actual spanking we would have to pop her very hard and I can't bring myself to do that just yet.
I will tell you this. Friends.... if time-out or whatever other anti-spanking disciplinary tool you use with your child ain't workin.... please, please, please change it!! Perhaps your child needs something stronger. Uuuuuugh I cannot staaaaand people who don't discipline their kids!! If at any point you feel like your kid is running YOU, then you're not doing your job as a parent.
Don't get me wrong, I am a sucker at times when I am just over H's little attitude and I just give in to whatever the heck she is flipping out about. Most of the time it's when we are in public or when I am trying to get something done. But at H's age, I believe she is trying to just find her place in this family and so teaching her to know who is boss and that the world doesn't revolve solely around her is priority. As parents, we have a small window of opportunity to teach this and if it isn't successful then what we are stuck with is a child-centered life. Sure your child is the center of your entire world and existence in your heart, but isn't teaching them to respect and the right and wrong ways to handle things much more important? I like what I read in "Becoming BabyWise" when he said that becoming our child's friend is the reward we will get in the end.
There are a handful of bad habits I am trying to break my daughter from right now. A few months ago she started slapping at something if she did not want it (i.e. her juice cup being offered to her, a toy being given to her, etc.) Now she has started saying "No." when she doesn't want something. I am trying to get her to say "No, THANK YOU." Because she can say "Thank you" ("Dee-doo!") and she knows what it means. Another is patience. Oh, Lord, this one is a pain in my rear. There is simply no easy way to teach a kid patience, but I just say it over and over to H and hope that she will eventually get the hang of it. We all have to do it and we don't like it all the time, but it is something we have to have. If I'm sick of sitting in traffic for two hours, I'm not allowed to just get up and walk around the car, so I have to wait and so does she! lol. That sounds so stupid, but it's the truth.
Another that has just recently been made crystal clear to me is that the ability to take my daughter out to a restaurant has become pretty much obsolete. Now that she can walk she wants her freedom 100% and unfortunately when you're in a public setting where people are sitting around you enjoying themselves it is tough to just say "No. You have to be PATIENT!" and let them fuss and squirm and pitch a tantrum. So most of the time we give in to get her to stop. That is a toughie because other people are involved.
What has been made clear to me is that it doesn't matter how wonderful and amazing and smart your kid is they all go through these stages. The only difference is the way we, the parents, handle it. And unfortunately that is what shapes our children as they grow from being toddlers to preteens.... scary, huh?
Coffee cup is now empty and I hear my little angel-muffin awake in her room! Time to tackle another day, friends! Let's do it!
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Keep Calm & Latch On
People often come up to me on the street asking "Natasha, you're still breastfeeding? How do you do it?" No they don't. I just get a kick out of opening like that.
But to answer the big question here, YES, I am still nursing my daughter that just turned one and YES, I wanted her to be completely weaned when she turned one. However, any of you who have BFed your child until they self-weaned understand that that is not something you can just stop completely. It's not a pacifier. You can't just take it away. There are BIG consequences for doing that with breastfeeding. It can cause depression and anxiety in both the child and yourself. The child's appetite will not be matured enough to be gaining the nutrients from table food that he/she needs on a daily basis.
Here is how I look at it: My daughter just turned 13 months and she is NOT putting me out any by still nursing when she wakes up in the morning and before naps and bedtime. I also nurse during the night if she wakes up and I can tell that's what she wants. THAT IS OKAY.
My daughter has been sick twice in the past 2 weeks. My husband had a horrible stomach bug for a few days and thank GOD she did not catch that. Then I started to get a cold but it went away quickly. Back to what I was saying, she has been sick. When babies are sick it is tough. However the increased clingyness and love can be very nice :) For my daughter she has many bouts of pure-out sweetness, snotty-nose kisses, hugs, and just wanting to chill and watch TV on mommy or daddy's lap. But then once drowsiness sets in she is not a happy camper. This week she had a sore throat and every time she would cough she'd cry afterwards. It broke my heart! She hardly ate anything but some applesauce and snacks here and there. I nurse her more when she is sick. Even now. Not hardly as much as when she was an infant, but I know when that is what she is wanting. Sometimes that is just all she wants.
Did you know that your breastmilk actually changes to meet the needs of your growing child? For example, since we are in the weaning process and are down to 2-3 nursings a day, levels in certain antibodies actually increases. One common misconception about nursing as your child gets older is that everything decreases and it's not true! It really is the perfect food! That is one of the major beauties of these wonderful things God created called BOOOOOBS! Go on and say it out loud. You know you want to.
I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding and I haven't always been. When I was 5 months pregnant, my aunt asked me if I planned on breastfeeding or formula-feeding and I told her I wasn't sure. Her response? "You breastfeed that baby." LOL!! Aunt Denise, I'm talking about YOU! I'm sure my mom or whoever would've said the same thing had it come up, but it just simply hadn't crossed my mind! I wasn't around many babies as a child... at all, actually. I was only 10 when my nephew was born. So it was something I hadn't really considered.
Then I downloaded the book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" written by seven members of the La Leche League, I believe seven is correct. That book is wonderful and I highly recommend reading it if you're pregnant or even just have a newborn! It is a wonderful book and very informative because, to be honest, I was scared! I had no idea what to expect and I knew absolutely nothing about how my body would actually produce the stuff!
There is so much I didn't know. I think that if more women actually knew more facts about breastfeeding other than just "Won't my boobs be ruined?" WHO CARES!!! Time is gonna take care of that anyways, honey!
Facts to ease your mind:
* Once you get the hang of it, breastfeeding is the easiest thing you can do.
* It is natural and why God created them, but it is NOT "JUST FOR HIPPIES". (This drives me NUTS!)
* It is the perfect food for your baby.
* It does not "tie you down" as I have been asked so. many. times. Don't allow yourself to be tied down by introducing a bottle early, but nursing from breast more so that there is no confusion. This allows daddy or whomever to feed the baby if you need to go somewhere. Keep plenty of milk on hand.
* Your boobs will not rot and fall off. They will be perfectly fine while you nurse and after you wean. Trust me, the man in your life won't turn you down for sex because you chose to nurse vs. bottle-feed your child. Once he learns enough about it, he'll be 100% for it (if that doesn't work, show him the formula aisle in the store and how much the stuff costs!)
* Want to lose the baby weight fast? Breastfeed.
You've heard breastfed babies have to eat more? They do. But not by much. This is because breastmilk is much more easily digested than formula. The average one-month old only nurses every 3 hours. You've heard formula-fed babies sleep all night? This is a myth and not a valid reason for choosing not to nurse. That's like saying "Let's just fill my belly full of whatever so I can get a full nights sleep." It's quality, not quantity. Your child will sleep all night when they are ready. There are methods you can try if you're adamant about them sleeping all night long at an early age, but babies don't always wake up out of hunger, just keep that in mind, too.
I do want to say that formula feeding your baby is fine. Your baby is getting food. Your baby will be happy and love you. I understand that many, many people choose formula due to either health reasons or because it's easier when you have to work. whatever the reason should be. But formula feeding is the norm in today's society. After I nursed my daughter for the first time after birth, I cracked and bled and wasn't able to nurse her again until I had let myself heal. The nurses were extremely rude to me in the hospital because they thought I just didn't want to.. My husband witnessed me actually crying because I felt like such a failure and that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Thank God for formula during that week and thank God for my mom who helped correct Hayden's latch. It was painful at first but we got it right and I had to grit my teeth and bear it for a while until my "girls" toughened up.
FACT: Only 60% of women breastfeed for the first 3 months, 20% breastfeed for 6 months, and only 15% after 6 months. It drops drastically past one year of age.
Now that I can tell my daughter has begun to wean herself, it saddens me a little. However, I know that once it's done I'll be glad. I decided against my original plan to try to wean her myself by one year, but after reading about it and realizing that she still needs it right now self-led weaning is the way to go. I would hate to force something on her that she isn't quite ready for yet. And like I said-- she is not putting me out any. I know that when we leave the house she will eat food-food and I don't have to worry about hiding out in the backseat of the car anymore to nurse her, but that when we get home if it is what she needs to settle down for bed than that's perfectly fine with me. Like everything it is very short-lived and I'll continue to enjoy the time of bonding while it lasts. :)
Keep calm & Latch on <3
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
A couple great articles on breastfeeding:
The "Power Hour" -- About BFing within the first hour of baby's life. Good stuff right here!
Timeline of the Benefits of Breastfeeding
But to answer the big question here, YES, I am still nursing my daughter that just turned one and YES, I wanted her to be completely weaned when she turned one. However, any of you who have BFed your child until they self-weaned understand that that is not something you can just stop completely. It's not a pacifier. You can't just take it away. There are BIG consequences for doing that with breastfeeding. It can cause depression and anxiety in both the child and yourself. The child's appetite will not be matured enough to be gaining the nutrients from table food that he/she needs on a daily basis.
Here is how I look at it: My daughter just turned 13 months and she is NOT putting me out any by still nursing when she wakes up in the morning and before naps and bedtime. I also nurse during the night if she wakes up and I can tell that's what she wants. THAT IS OKAY.
My daughter has been sick twice in the past 2 weeks. My husband had a horrible stomach bug for a few days and thank GOD she did not catch that. Then I started to get a cold but it went away quickly. Back to what I was saying, she has been sick. When babies are sick it is tough. However the increased clingyness and love can be very nice :) For my daughter she has many bouts of pure-out sweetness, snotty-nose kisses, hugs, and just wanting to chill and watch TV on mommy or daddy's lap. But then once drowsiness sets in she is not a happy camper. This week she had a sore throat and every time she would cough she'd cry afterwards. It broke my heart! She hardly ate anything but some applesauce and snacks here and there. I nurse her more when she is sick. Even now. Not hardly as much as when she was an infant, but I know when that is what she is wanting. Sometimes that is just all she wants.
Did you know that your breastmilk actually changes to meet the needs of your growing child? For example, since we are in the weaning process and are down to 2-3 nursings a day, levels in certain antibodies actually increases. One common misconception about nursing as your child gets older is that everything decreases and it's not true! It really is the perfect food! That is one of the major beauties of these wonderful things God created called BOOOOOBS! Go on and say it out loud. You know you want to.
I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding and I haven't always been. When I was 5 months pregnant, my aunt asked me if I planned on breastfeeding or formula-feeding and I told her I wasn't sure. Her response? "You breastfeed that baby." LOL!! Aunt Denise, I'm talking about YOU! I'm sure my mom or whoever would've said the same thing had it come up, but it just simply hadn't crossed my mind! I wasn't around many babies as a child... at all, actually. I was only 10 when my nephew was born. So it was something I hadn't really considered.
Then I downloaded the book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" written by seven members of the La Leche League, I believe seven is correct. That book is wonderful and I highly recommend reading it if you're pregnant or even just have a newborn! It is a wonderful book and very informative because, to be honest, I was scared! I had no idea what to expect and I knew absolutely nothing about how my body would actually produce the stuff!
There is so much I didn't know. I think that if more women actually knew more facts about breastfeeding other than just "Won't my boobs be ruined?" WHO CARES!!! Time is gonna take care of that anyways, honey!
Facts to ease your mind:
* Once you get the hang of it, breastfeeding is the easiest thing you can do.
* It is natural and why God created them, but it is NOT "JUST FOR HIPPIES". (This drives me NUTS!)
* It is the perfect food for your baby.
* It does not "tie you down" as I have been asked so. many. times. Don't allow yourself to be tied down by introducing a bottle early, but nursing from breast more so that there is no confusion. This allows daddy or whomever to feed the baby if you need to go somewhere. Keep plenty of milk on hand.
* Your boobs will not rot and fall off. They will be perfectly fine while you nurse and after you wean. Trust me, the man in your life won't turn you down for sex because you chose to nurse vs. bottle-feed your child. Once he learns enough about it, he'll be 100% for it (if that doesn't work, show him the formula aisle in the store and how much the stuff costs!)
* Want to lose the baby weight fast? Breastfeed.
You've heard breastfed babies have to eat more? They do. But not by much. This is because breastmilk is much more easily digested than formula. The average one-month old only nurses every 3 hours. You've heard formula-fed babies sleep all night? This is a myth and not a valid reason for choosing not to nurse. That's like saying "Let's just fill my belly full of whatever so I can get a full nights sleep." It's quality, not quantity. Your child will sleep all night when they are ready. There are methods you can try if you're adamant about them sleeping all night long at an early age, but babies don't always wake up out of hunger, just keep that in mind, too.
I do want to say that formula feeding your baby is fine. Your baby is getting food. Your baby will be happy and love you. I understand that many, many people choose formula due to either health reasons or because it's easier when you have to work. whatever the reason should be. But formula feeding is the norm in today's society. After I nursed my daughter for the first time after birth, I cracked and bled and wasn't able to nurse her again until I had let myself heal. The nurses were extremely rude to me in the hospital because they thought I just didn't want to.. My husband witnessed me actually crying because I felt like such a failure and that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Thank God for formula during that week and thank God for my mom who helped correct Hayden's latch. It was painful at first but we got it right and I had to grit my teeth and bear it for a while until my "girls" toughened up.
FACT: Only 60% of women breastfeed for the first 3 months, 20% breastfeed for 6 months, and only 15% after 6 months. It drops drastically past one year of age.
Now that I can tell my daughter has begun to wean herself, it saddens me a little. However, I know that once it's done I'll be glad. I decided against my original plan to try to wean her myself by one year, but after reading about it and realizing that she still needs it right now self-led weaning is the way to go. I would hate to force something on her that she isn't quite ready for yet. And like I said-- she is not putting me out any. I know that when we leave the house she will eat food-food and I don't have to worry about hiding out in the backseat of the car anymore to nurse her, but that when we get home if it is what she needs to settle down for bed than that's perfectly fine with me. Like everything it is very short-lived and I'll continue to enjoy the time of bonding while it lasts. :)
Keep calm & Latch on <3
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
A couple great articles on breastfeeding:
The "Power Hour" -- About BFing within the first hour of baby's life. Good stuff right here!
Timeline of the Benefits of Breastfeeding
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Create in Me a Clean Heart
Until I got pregnant with my daughter in June of 2011, I had lived a very bad life. I'm not sure "bad" is even the right word. I think the right word would be "sinful." Don't get me wrong it was fun, but looking back I wish so many things would've been done differently. But isn't that something we all look back and think about some things? It's just part of life.
I drank.. a LOT.
I smoked.
I cursed like a sailor.
I got a DUI.
I did not wait until my first marriage to have sex.
I married and divorced someone God very clearly did not choose for me.
I lived with my current husband before we were married.
I chose to get pregnant out of wedlock.
I stayed away from the church out of pure rebellion and resentment.
I am no saint.
I took MY LIFE, which is not something I even deserved, and took it completely for granted.
I'm telling you all this just to say that I KNOW what I did in my past. There have been moments where I have been laying in bed and have a flashback of something I had done and I literally get sick to my stomach. I wish there were some way that I could completely erase it out of my brain because to think I was ever that person just kills me.
When I had my baby girl, my entire life changed. Actually, it changed when I found out I was having her. But until I actually HAD her and held her in my arms I knew that I wanted to be the best mother I could be. I want to also live a more Godly life so that she will see me as an example of how she should be and should want to be. Mind you, I grew up in church. Growing up, my family went every time the doors were open. That mixed with a couple of things that happened in my childhood, caused me to turn and rebel against Church once I was finally out of my parent's house.
I knew that I wanted to make a pretty big change when I met a few fellow stay-at-home moms here on base. I would say they are my best friends here. They are also very good role models of what a good, Christian friend, wife, and mother should be without being all in-your-face-quoting-scripture-24/7-overboard with it. But just being told "Sometimes you just have to pray about it and give it to Him." is exactly what I needed to hear. Even deciding to start living a better life, I don't plan to attend church every single Sunday. I would like to start going, though. My hubby has to work on Sundays a lot and so he takes the car. However, I have started attending the women's bible study here on my base every Tuesday. It is wonderful and my daughter gets to spend time with other kids in the nursery.
I am having some trouble letting go of the "You're not worthy" feeling while sitting there in Bible study. Like I have no right to sit there because of the life I used to live. I know I am surrounded by women who, at some point, probably did some of the same things. But it is tough when I am trying to live a better life because I WANT TO not because it looks good or because I think I'm better than anyone, but because I genuinely want to lead a good, Christian life and example for my family. I hate being blatantly reminded of how I used to live by those who know me. I think that is very wrong and not what I need in a "support system." When I mention that I have started going to a Bible study and being told "You're the biggest hypocrite of them all." is very painful because I KNOW, but I am trying to change.
I refuse to give up. One thing that was made clear in a book that I have just read is that it is a constant battle to live a Christian life. And I can attest to that. That's why I stayed away from the church all those years. It was just easier and "more fun" to party and sin without a care in the world. Not thinking that at any point I could have my life taken from me.
I want the past to stay in my past. I know I'm no Mother Teresa, but there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to start fresh and live a better life for their family.
And that is what I plan to do :)
"I ain't as good as I'm gonna get. But I'm better than I used to be." --Tim McGraw
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
I drank.. a LOT.
I smoked.
I cursed like a sailor.
I got a DUI.
I did not wait until my first marriage to have sex.
I married and divorced someone God very clearly did not choose for me.
I lived with my current husband before we were married.
I chose to get pregnant out of wedlock.
I stayed away from the church out of pure rebellion and resentment.
I am no saint.
I took MY LIFE, which is not something I even deserved, and took it completely for granted.
I'm telling you all this just to say that I KNOW what I did in my past. There have been moments where I have been laying in bed and have a flashback of something I had done and I literally get sick to my stomach. I wish there were some way that I could completely erase it out of my brain because to think I was ever that person just kills me.
When I had my baby girl, my entire life changed. Actually, it changed when I found out I was having her. But until I actually HAD her and held her in my arms I knew that I wanted to be the best mother I could be. I want to also live a more Godly life so that she will see me as an example of how she should be and should want to be. Mind you, I grew up in church. Growing up, my family went every time the doors were open. That mixed with a couple of things that happened in my childhood, caused me to turn and rebel against Church once I was finally out of my parent's house.
I knew that I wanted to make a pretty big change when I met a few fellow stay-at-home moms here on base. I would say they are my best friends here. They are also very good role models of what a good, Christian friend, wife, and mother should be without being all in-your-face-quoting-scripture-24/7-overboard with it. But just being told "Sometimes you just have to pray about it and give it to Him." is exactly what I needed to hear. Even deciding to start living a better life, I don't plan to attend church every single Sunday. I would like to start going, though. My hubby has to work on Sundays a lot and so he takes the car. However, I have started attending the women's bible study here on my base every Tuesday. It is wonderful and my daughter gets to spend time with other kids in the nursery.
I am having some trouble letting go of the "You're not worthy" feeling while sitting there in Bible study. Like I have no right to sit there because of the life I used to live. I know I am surrounded by women who, at some point, probably did some of the same things. But it is tough when I am trying to live a better life because I WANT TO not because it looks good or because I think I'm better than anyone, but because I genuinely want to lead a good, Christian life and example for my family. I hate being blatantly reminded of how I used to live by those who know me. I think that is very wrong and not what I need in a "support system." When I mention that I have started going to a Bible study and being told "You're the biggest hypocrite of them all." is very painful because I KNOW, but I am trying to change.
I refuse to give up. One thing that was made clear in a book that I have just read is that it is a constant battle to live a Christian life. And I can attest to that. That's why I stayed away from the church all those years. It was just easier and "more fun" to party and sin without a care in the world. Not thinking that at any point I could have my life taken from me.
I want the past to stay in my past. I know I'm no Mother Teresa, but there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to start fresh and live a better life for their family.
And that is what I plan to do :)
"I ain't as good as I'm gonna get. But I'm better than I used to be." --Tim McGraw
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I just do not get it. {A petty girl blog}
I get legitimately pissed off when people who should NOT be so conceited are so conceited!! I cannot understand, for the life of me, why some people continue to take pictures of themselves and post them for all the world to see. I have honestly unfriended and unfollowed people because their constant pictures of their face irritate me. And please someone tell me what the deal is with people taking pictures of themselves SLEEPING?! Is that some strange thing like “sleep-walking”? I’ve never heard of “Sleep-taking pictures of myself”…
I know this is completely out of the norm as a topic of one of my blogs, but it is something that I have kept pent up inside of me and I needed to let this monster out!
I know for a FACT that I am not the most gorgeous girl in the whole world and, yes, if I’m feeling pretty at a certain moment in time I might post a “selfie” but dear Lord, those people… I just wonder if other people think that too or if that is just a part of me that really needs to find Jesus… or both? Hahaha
I feel better now. :)
xoxo,
Sleepless & Hormonal in Los Angeles
Food & Money-Saving Tips from a very busy (kinda lazy) SAHM
People always come up to me on the streets and ask “Natasha, you are so amazing! How do you do it?” Hahaha I’m just kidding. No one says that. But it was a great lead-in, right?
My idea of a stay-at-home mom was so completely different before I actually became one. I imagined my house would be spotless all the time, baby would be completely happy because she will have slept all night long, and dinner would be on the table when my husband walked in the door… back then the thought of having to “hurry up and shower before the baby wakes up” never crossed my mind because I would just be showered and gorgeous all the time! lol
One of the things I have always enjoyed has been cooking. I enjoy cooking, feeding people who enjoy my cooking, and eating. Unfortunately, some things change when you have children. There is a short window of time when I can plop the baby into her high-chair or pack-n-play, give her a snack or a toy, and she will be content— I give it 20-30 minutes max. I started looking for shortcuts to try to maximize my time in the kitchen with the least amount of stress possible.
A lot of these are ideas I got from Pinterest. LOVE, love, LooooVE my Pinterest!
- Make-ahead and freeze! This has become one of my favorite things to do while my baby naps since I have some kind of daytime insomnia and can’t sleep! Yesterday morning, I put together a batch of loaded breakfast burritos to microwave and send with my husband every morning for the next week. It was a little time consuming, but totally worth it! Don’t want to cook full-blown meals just to store away in the freezer? Why not make some sides? One thing I like to do is take some veggies or fruits that are on the verge of going bad, steam or bake them however I want and then freeze. I love steaming some baby carrots and then portion them out to give to Hayden for a healthy snack she won’t choke on ;) It never fails that I buy a bag of potatoes and never get through an entire bag before they go bad. So what I started doing was taking half the bag, dice, steam, separate into sandwich baggies, then freeze. I don’t season them at all until I take them out to cook them. That way, I can season them however I want to fit my meal— butter potatoes, garlic potatoes, or country-fried potatoes! Rice is another one. Keith likes regular steamed rice and never eats the entire thing, so I always freeze what is left then take it out the next time he wants some or I can make some veggie-fried rice for me & the baby! See what I mean?
- FREEZE EVERYTHING! Freezing is nothing new. I didn’t INVENT anything here. But it is something I never valued until I had a family and started cooking a lot more and having to stretch dollars… and food. I never realized just how much food I was throwing away! I have started freezing almost everything. Leftover lasagna, taco meat (I always make so much so this is perfect!), pasta, spaghetti sauce (another one I make a ton of everytime!), cooked veggies and fruits, soup, pot roast, etc. Also, if I buy one of those extremely large packs of chicken breasts, I will portion them out in two’s and ziploc them together then freeze. Only need 1/4 cup of canned “whatever”?? Freeze the rest!! You’ll be surprised how that comes in handy!
- Crockpot, crockpot, crockpot. It doesn’t get much simpler than that, folks. Pot roast, sloppy joes, chicken breasts (they come out so unbelievably tender it’s amazing.), pork loin, whole chicken (another huge $$-saver! Need I say it? Cook then freeze! You’ll have so much chicken already cooked and ready to use!), ribs, etc. You just pour everything in, set the timer, and let it work it’s magic. Then defrost whatever side you choose to go with it and boom. Dinner!
- Find uses for the little stuff… hate all those broken pieces of potato chips at the bottom of the Sour Cream & Onion bag? Wouldn’t that make an awesome breading for some baked chicken? What if you mixed together some cream of chicken soup & sour cream, coat the chicken, then cover in those potato chip crumbs? Sounds fantastic, right? Yes it does. I’ve never tried it because I just now came up with it. But I did save those pesky crumbs and now I know what to do with them! ;)
Finding ways to save money isn’t just for poor people. Even if it’s not money you care to save, think of how much longer between grocery shopping trips there would be! Who wouldn’t like that?
I hope these few little tips have gave you some good ideas. If not, well you just know everything then don’t you?! Juuuuuust kidding. hahaha
Until next time,
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles (yes, again…)
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