Wow it has been forever since I have posted. I really want to make it a habit to write once a week since I do really enjoy it. Want to know the reason why I have been terrible at blogging so far? The computer screen makes me SLEEPY! I already have to sit down to edit the pictures from my photography sessions and after about an hour of doing that, my eyes need a rest. I honestly don't know how I got through some of those 20-hour days working at the newspaper in Georgia all those years. It's just cray-cray! (I am not allowed to say that in real life because the hubby hates it but I can here because IT'S MY BLOG!!! lol)
So, my daughter is just a few days shy of being 15 months old and it is almost like toddlerhood has slapped me right in the face... hard. Now, she has never been an easy child from day 1, so her fussiness, mood swings, clingyness, and tantrums are nothing new to me. The only thing that has changed has been the way I am, for lack of a better word, "allowed" to handle it. I only say that because obviously you are going to handle things differently depending on what age your child is. At her age we use time-out and little pops on the hand. I am not opposed to spankings. However, at this age I don't feel they are really necessary when I get my point across in other ways. Plus, we give her "love spanks" all the time so for her to tell a difference in those and an actual spanking we would have to pop her very hard and I can't bring myself to do that just yet.
I will tell you this. Friends.... if time-out or whatever other anti-spanking disciplinary tool you use with your child ain't workin.... please, please, please change it!! Perhaps your child needs something stronger. Uuuuuugh I cannot staaaaand people who don't discipline their kids!! If at any point you feel like your kid is running YOU, then you're not doing your job as a parent.
Don't get me wrong, I am a sucker at times when I am just over H's little attitude and I just give in to whatever the heck she is flipping out about. Most of the time it's when we are in public or when I am trying to get something done. But at H's age, I believe she is trying to just find her place in this family and so teaching her to know who is boss and that the world doesn't revolve solely around her is priority. As parents, we have a small window of opportunity to teach this and if it isn't successful then what we are stuck with is a child-centered life. Sure your child is the center of your entire world and existence in your heart, but isn't teaching them to respect and the right and wrong ways to handle things much more important? I like what I read in "Becoming BabyWise" when he said that becoming our child's friend is the reward we will get in the end.
There are a handful of bad habits I am trying to break my daughter from right now. A few months ago she started slapping at something if she did not want it (i.e. her juice cup being offered to her, a toy being given to her, etc.) Now she has started saying "No." when she doesn't want something. I am trying to get her to say "No, THANK YOU." Because she can say "Thank you" ("Dee-doo!") and she knows what it means. Another is patience. Oh, Lord, this one is a pain in my rear. There is simply no easy way to teach a kid patience, but I just say it over and over to H and hope that she will eventually get the hang of it. We all have to do it and we don't like it all the time, but it is something we have to have. If I'm sick of sitting in traffic for two hours, I'm not allowed to just get up and walk around the car, so I have to wait and so does she! lol. That sounds so stupid, but it's the truth.
Another that has just recently been made crystal clear to me is that the ability to take my daughter out to a restaurant has become pretty much obsolete. Now that she can walk she wants her freedom 100% and unfortunately when you're in a public setting where people are sitting around you enjoying themselves it is tough to just say "No. You have to be PATIENT!" and let them fuss and squirm and pitch a tantrum. So most of the time we give in to get her to stop. That is a toughie because other people are involved.
What has been made clear to me is that it doesn't matter how wonderful and amazing and smart your kid is they all go through these stages. The only difference is the way we, the parents, handle it. And unfortunately that is what shapes our children as they grow from being toddlers to preteens.... scary, huh?
Coffee cup is now empty and I hear my little angel-muffin awake in her room! Time to tackle another day, friends! Let's do it!
xoxo,
Sleepless in Los Angeles
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